Awhile ago, a movie came out starring Jennifer Aniston, Collin Farrell, and Kevin Spacey as manipulative, vulgar, and generally inappropriate bosses (hence the title, Horrible Bosses). The comedy was a riff on a phenomenon that far too many of us have experienced: employers who, through incompetence, ill-will, bad temperament, or even mental disorders, just seem to make your life miserable. They drain your energy and your time, making you wonder if that paycheck is even worth the slog that is your job. The movie hit a nerve and got some cheap laughs because many of us have seen what the opposite side is like. A good boss, in contrast, can make you excited about showing up to work, make you feel part of a team, and can highlight your successes to others while helping you become a better you.
So why aren’t bosses perceived as helpful and good, if not all, then at least more of the time? And why are some bosses just, well, horrible?
While any answer to that question would need to examine just which particular boss we’re talking about – is he or she a psycho, nympho, or tool, according to the movie – we can make some general observations about the impact these people have on those with whom they work and interact. If it’s true that one person can inspire us, the dark side of personal impact looks something like this:
One person says something hurtful.
One person betrays another.
One person pressures you to do something harmful.
One person physically harms those closest to him.
One person tells lies.
One person ignores a need.
One person belittles a child.
One person thinks a terrible thought.
One person convinces others that thought is true.
One person becomes two becomes hundreds who hate an individual or entire group of other human beings.
Whatever the particular reasons why an individual is a horrible boss, or does horrible things to others, we need to recognize that the consequences of that mal-formation of character can have tremendous reach. Much of the injustice in our world, both on a grand scale, and in the everyday interactions of normal life, is the result of one person, in that moment, acting in such a way to do something harmful to another. And our history books and newspapers are littered with the consequences such individuals have had on our collective well-being at our workplaces, in our families, and in our public communities.
Most of us, though, fall somewhere in between the heroic and the horrible. In a future post, we’ll look at how we might begin to minimize our negative impact on others, and maximize our positive impact.